Episode Summary

In this episode, Victoria opens up to Kevin about a fear she carried for years — the quiet fear that technology wasn’t meant for her. As they talk, she realizes the real barrier wasn’t the tool but the permission she hadn’t yet given herself. Their conversation explores how reframing fear can create space for trust, creativity, and belonging.

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Show Notes

In this episode, we walk through:

• Why Victoria hesitated to use technology
• The deeper stories behind her fear
• How identity, history, and belonging shape our confidence
• The moment she realized she needed self-permission, not approval from a tool
• How reframing fear opened a new creative pathway

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Key Themes:

• Self-permission
• Reframing fear
• Creativity and technology
• Identity and belonging
• Trusting your voice
• Empowerment through reflection

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Favorite Moment

“I wasn’t afraid of the technology.
I was afraid of trusting myself with it.”

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Transcript

Tonia Tyler (00:00)
This reflection comes from a moment when I finally acknowledged my own fear of technology. I shaped it into a conversation between Victoria and Kevin because sometimes our truth is easy to hear through another voice. Like me, Victoria realizes the real barrier wasn’t the tool that was given herself permission to use it. You know, I’ve always thought of you as someone open to new tech, but you once told me you were actually intimidated by AI tools.

What was that really about? Funny you bring that up. My fear wasn’t really about the technology itself. I could figure out the buttons. It was more that I felt AI just wasn’t for someone like me. I kept thinking, that’s for other people, not me. That surprises me. So it wasn’t the complexity, more this sense of not belonging in that world? Exactly. It’s like from early on, I’d internalize these messages to play it safe.

not to take up space or try things that seemed out of reach. That really stuck with me every time I saw these shiny new tools being promoted. That must have been tough, especially with how tech gets shown off as this exclusive club. Did you feel like you needed a certain status to even try it? Totally. Tech always seemed like a luxury, like the whole digital Jeeves idea, where only people with resources got these fancy helpers. I’d watch ads or read articles and just think,

Not my world. I get that. Sometimes even the language tech folks use makes it seem like some rarefied thing, not something for everyone. Did that hold you back for a long time? ⁓ for ages. I tell myself, maybe later, maybe never. And the craziest part is, nobody ever outright said I couldn’t try those limits. Were all in my head, but they felt incredibly real. So, what finally convinced you to give it a try, despite all that internal noise?

It was almost accidental. I was just so frustrated one day, juggling a million thoughts, and I thought, fine, I’ll see if this can help. There was this tiny hope that maybe it would make things easier. And did it? Or was there a moment where you thought, wait, this actually fits me? The wildest thing is, once I started, I realized the tool wasn’t taking anything away from me. It was like it handed me a megaphone for my own ideas.

helping me organize and express things I’d been carrying around for years. That’s such a shift going from feeling left out to feeling empowered. Do you think the biggest thing holding you back was actually believing you deserve to use these tools? Honestly, yes. After all that worry, I realized it was never about the tech. It was about whether I could trust myself to try and maybe even fail and still belong there. That old story about staying small was the real obstacle.

That’s relatable. It’s wild how we can carry those old narratives for so long, even when nobody else is enforcing them anymore. Absolutely. And once I saw it, I kept wondering where else I might be doing the same thing, holding back, just because of a story I didn’t even write for myself. Hearing that, I’m starting to think about my own habits. There are definitely tools or opportunities I’ve avoided, telling myself they’re not for me. But maybe it’s just an old tape playing in my head. I think a lot of us do that.

Maybe it’s not always about fear of failing, but fear of stepping outside the lines we think we’re supposed to stay in. What’s one thing you’ve caught yourself avoiding because of a story like that? Honestly, public speaking tools. I always figured that’s for natural performers, not quiet guys like me. But now I’m wondering if that’s just a myth I’ve picked up along the way. Exactly those old stories can be so sneaky. Maybe it’s time we both start rewriting them, or at least questioning whether they still serve us at all.

Your path, your pace, your confidence.

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Reflection Prompt

Where in your life are you avoiding a tool or opportunity — not because it’s too difficult, but because of a story that convinced you it wasn’t meant for you?

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Call to Action

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By Tonia Tyler | #ConfidentStrides | Sweet N Social